20 (sweet) 16 - To All of You

[ammchan]

well! well. here i am in 2016. here we all are, and i think it's so great that we've all made it through. it may be just another day, just another year, but i think we're all stronger for it, and i guess this is just a thank you to everyone who's helped me along the way. to be honest, i've always wanted to do one of these. call me a copycat if you will (i'm sorry cal, dana); i've always been too afraid to do it for fear of forgetting people. because i know i will, i probably have, and that's not fair.

but i'm human, i forget, i take for granted, and . . . i just have to accept that and take the risk.

i'm in desperate need of something positive in my journal for once! it's a new year. here's to starting it off right (even if life has burdened me with a cold suddenly, ugh). so . . . here it goes.

→ adam: i'm sorry i missed out on meeting you at awa last year! i know we haven't spoken much, but it's been really great to have you as a member of the catscatscats family. you seem like a really cool, smart guy who's going places (don't laugh, okay, you at least do a great job of seeming like it--), and i know elayne is happy with you. i'm so happy for you both! and i hope i get to talk to both of you more. i look forward to meeting you in the year of our lord 2016!

→ amber: hey! we lost touch for a while, huh? i think you were having laptop problems--but in any case, i'm ecstatic to see you around again. i've missed our rhythm thief rambles, persona rambles, pokemon rambles, the aus--you're so creative. i can only hope we end up rping together again soon, and that life has been treating you well; but if not, you always know where and how to find me. you have my support, and really, i'd love to get to know you better. thank you for being you, and let's catch up soon! HAPPY 2016.

→ ax: santa, baby!! i know already said it, but happy belated birthday anyway. i hope you got showered with lots of cool gifts and love, because you deserve it. i know i don't know you all that well, ax, but seeing you around on my timeline is always a joy. thank you so much for that. i'm wishing you the best, wherever you decide to go in life! i definitely plan to keep tagging you; and while i adore rei, i hope to branch out to some of your other characters, too. reliable, fast taggers like you are hard to find, but you are absolutely a treasure for more than just that.

→ cal: aaahhh. this shouldn't be hard, yet i just stared at that "aaahhh" for like a solid minute-- ANYWAY gosh. what can i say that you haven't heard before, especially from me? probably nothing, really, but i'm gonna try! besides, everyone could use that friendly reminder now and again.

you are such a wonderful person. we've known each other for a long time now, and i've always admired you for how incredibly considerate, talented, and hard-working you are. i'm not sure i ever told you i felt that way (but it's probably not a surprise, since i'm the most open book to ever be opened). even when we lose touch, it seems really easy for us to fall into old times again and i hope we can do the same again in the coming year. i've missed our chats and i always look fondly on our anime binges throughout the years, from sailor moon to ghost hunt to okami-san to k and donten ni warau, etc. you are a stellar rp partner, an even better friend, and i'm so blessed to have you in my life and that you still think of me. thank you for that.

i know you're strong. just like you're rooting for me, i'm rooting for you too, and i hope you'll let me be there for you if you ever need it, be it life, rp, or anything else that tries to throw lemons in your way. crush your enemies!! score that goal!!! i'm here every step of the way.

→ candy (lindsey): YOU. gosh!! you don't rp, you don't even plurk anymore. i could paste this right into your im box, and i probably, but it just seems wrong not to include you. you are a constant in my life, and i can't tell you how much that means to me. i can always count on the texts, the ims. i can't think of anyone who has ever been so consistent with them as you, and even if i can't always reply, i love hearing from you. you make me feel loved and wanted. i've probably known you longer than almost anyone else i could mention here, and you are the best influence on my life.

you are a shining example that you can indulge in childish, nostalgic things like pokemon, sailor moon, anime in general, and still be 500% a responsible, functioning adult. you are awesome. and one day, we will meet. and there will be pizza, quesadillas, ice cream, fried spaghetti, and a lot of video games.

PS: thank you so much for introducing me to the likes of michael, markiplier, and other youtubers as well. let's make this new year great.

→ coco: i'm so glad you're safe. things got rough for you, i know, and even though i didn't say anything at the time, i hope you know you always have my support. it's been great to reconnect with you again, and i'm so happy to see things are looking up now. thank you for being my zero escape buddy, my life is strange buddy, and everything else in between. i've really missed you, and i look forward to making more memories with you in 2016. wishing you the best, always.

→ dana: it's so lame of me, but you know, i still think about incheon back in august and how i almost met you. i keep thinking, if only i'd gotten through bag-check faster, if only i hadn't spent so much time in the bathroom, or getting something to eat . . . i really was disappointed. what were the chances? but i could never stay sad with you around. i know you and i haven't talked much lately, but my timeline is a little brighter because you're on it, and even though you've heard it from others, i wanted you to hear it from me. i hope i can stop being a dumbass and talk to you and others more, but even if it takes me a while, just know that you're in my thoughts.

shine on, you crazy diamond. thank you ♥

→ dey: oh, man. what do i even say here? you're just so much fun. i adore having you on twitter, and even if there are days i don't have or can't find anything to say to you, i always enjoy seeing what you're up to and how you're doing. it makes me feel less alone when i refresh my feed and see that you're work-suffering right along with me, and on rough days, it really helps me get through. i hope you're having a blast at ichibancon-- and i definitely hope to see you at katsucon, too! you deserve the r&r--and you look great to boot. keep on keeping on. stay amazing! and thank you for everything ♥

(especially for being a strong contender in keeping me in cardgame hell!)

→ eli: did you know you're adorable??? no, really. at the risk of repeating myself, my mornings really aren't the same without seeing your incredible enthusiasm all over my feed; and i know you think it's embarrassing, but to me it's just ridiculously endearing. it's such a draw! just when i thought i escaped persona hell, you pull me back in. i'm eager to share in that enthusiasm with you, and hopefully you feel the same.

i know things aren't always easy for you, but i'm really glad i can be here for you now and help shoulder some of that burden (hopefully!) whenever you need it. never be afraid to reach out to me, even if timezones are cruel and i can't get back to you right away. i'll always be here for you, and i'm so grateful we've gotten to talk more over the last few weeks. i hope 2016 is all you deserve and more! you deserve to be happy. never forget that, and never lose hope.

PS: GHOST TRICK.

→ gore: pfffthahahajsk just thinking about you makes me smile. i know i haven't been great about reaching out to you (and i've been a poor presence on plurk in general), but i hope you know how much your positivity, silliness, and awful puns mean to me! i laugh every time, and i'll never be able to thank you enough for that. i love when you reply to my once-in-a-blue-moon plurks and i get to ask how you're doing and catch up with you a little bit. i'm so glad we share another game now and that i've been able to branch out to your other characters. your tags are a treat, and i definitely hope to see more of you and get to know you better in 2016!

→ jae: i almost made it that night, didn't i? i tried. i tried so hard. but still, happy, happy new year anyway!

at the risk of sounding creepy, i just can't get enough of you. i would have never guessed in a million years that the highlight of my 2015 would be card games and starships, and yet here i am, looking back so fondly on all the times i've had with you over just those. it's incredible. it's ridiculous. i'd feel ashamed at how deeply i fell if the memories didn't make me so happy. if you didn't know, you're the reason i gave plurk a second glance at all. you're the reason i came back, and even though i know you're going to get progressively busier and busier for a while, i hope you always remember that i'm cheering for you. i miss you when you're not around, and when you are, it's such a treat. you make my day better just by being there. thank you so much for putting up with me and being my friend.

i want to meet you! so badly. i hope you want to meet me, too. wait for me. ♥

→ jena: of all the people i regret not talking to more in 2015, i have to say you're fairly high up on the list (which is pretty long! whoops). i knew you were kind and thoughtful from the moment i saw the beautiful picture of leia you drew for me on the first day i added you, and i haven't been disappointed since. you have such incredible talent, and i love to see it, even when i have no idea what it is or where it's from. there's this beautiful enthusiasm that comes across in everything you do, and it inspires me and really makes me hope that i'll get to know you better in the coming year. thanks for being a bright presence on my timeline and in my life! and i'm sorry i've been so terrible at reaching out to you.

→ jody: HNNNNN. jody!!! it feels like it's been an age . . . i'm so sorry i haven't followed through on any of the rp we discussed and that we've lost touch so much. i definitely miss you a lot, and getting to hang out with you at katsucon year was the best. you are such a cool person, and if i've ever made you feel like i thought any less, i am so sorry. i will definitely make it up to you this year!!! you are so great, and also all your metalwork is almost as beautiful as you are. i wish you all of the success in the world. i'll see you in february, but we'll definitely talk before then. thank you, so much.

→ kassie: guuuurl! i hope you still remember me. i really miss when you were able to get online more. i know you have a busy rl . . . i totally understand, but still, i miss you. i don't think i've ever really told you how grateful i am for everything you've done for me, and even though it's long overdue, i hope you don't mind if i say it now. to this day i still feel like i owe you so much. it's been years, but thank you so much for making my yukari, yukiko, and cheria costumes for me. you are incredible, and it will never cease to amaze me how talented you are at what you do, and also how good you look in absolutely anything you decide to whip up. don't you let anyone ever tell you otherwise--though i have no idea how anyone could.

are we still on for katsucon? i hope so. let's talk about it soon, because i'm ecstatic at the chance to see you again. i hope you're having a great year so far, because you deserve the best. happy 2016!!

→ kat (of georgia): you are such a sweetheart! meeting you at AWA the year before was such a treat, and i'm sooo sorry i had to miss out in 2015. i miss all of you a lot. i loved the way your eyes lit up whenever you talked about nursing and what you do--how you got so animated, and the way shannon was always like "here we go again." i love the way you get so excited about marvel and superheroes and demigods. you're wonderful, and i'm so glad we share a game again. i look forward to talking to you more this year!! i'll try to be better about it. i promise, and thank you ♥

→ kat (of iowa): who else could make me look forward to something as simple as daylight savings' time? only you. c: i know i haven't been great about keeping in touch with you as of late, but i hope you don't think i love you any less because of it. i know we always talk about needing those casual reminders, so here's yours: you are one of my favorite people, and i don't think that'll ever change. thank you so much for triforce heroes, for the little sherlock fig. even if it ended up being mustached watson instead of molly, i'll always think of you when i look at him. thank you so much for being you and understanding so much about what i go through re: anxiety over silly things, even legitimate things. if no one else understands, i know you will, and i know you're there for me.

just don't ever forget, i'm here for you, too. i'm rooting for you in all you do. i'm definitely going to pester you more this year! i hope we get to meet again. i still look back on that AUSA weekend fondly, even if things didn't go perfectly. it was worth it to see you, and i hope you feel/felt the same. next time: you, me, and lindsey. for the win.

oh. and thanks for practically single-handedly getting me into tales of (you literal devil).

→ kia: sweet, sweet kia! it feels like it's been forever . . . it's probably my fault, and i can't apologize enough for that. i still think about you though, and you still mean a lot to me. you were definitely a huge part in what made haven fun for me, and even now, even though i've wavered so hard in cerealia, i still want so badly to tag with you again. i hope you believe me, even though my motivation has been shit. i love how quick and consistent you are, and how amazing you are at keeping your voices distinct. i've tagged you at least 3 times without realizing that it's you, and i've never done that with anybody else.

beyond that though, i really do hope we get to talk more this year. i'm ecstatic for you that you finally escaped ikea, and i'm rooting for you, whatever you decide to pursue from here. i'll try to do better at being here for you and keeping in touch! but of course, you always know where to find me, too. thank you for being you ♥

→ levi: first of all, i know i missed it, so happy super belated birthday! we haven't talked much this year, but i still think about you, and about ten, too. i'll never forget how much fun vatheon was with you guys, about our digital devil skype sessions. the way we laughed at bat, the way you guys laughed at me when i fell for that fake karma terminal. the way i'd get a million jack frost encounters and you would just be all, "yooo what?!" then there's getting angel's punk ass out of the way . . . and the jailer.

beyond reminiscing though, i'm really happy for you and ten and it's so great to see that things have worked out for you where it's failed for so many others. i hope we can catch up soon in card game hell! happy 2016, and thank you for the great memories. let's make some more ♥

→ mako: i haven't forgotten about you, space twin! you're so full of energy, and good gosh do i wonder how you can keep up with all of your games. i love how much you reach out to other people and share your enthusiasm with them. i know i haven't been able to return the favor (for reasons that have nothing to do with you, promise), but know that it's something i admire about you and that i really appreciate it. from the moment i added you, you would respond to my plurks on days when i thought no one cared--and that means a lot to me. thank you, and i definitely hope to talk to you more this coming year.

→ mart: oh man. i missed you so much while you were gone and i can't tell you how much it means to have you in my life again. thank you so much for being there for me lately, for reaching out to me when i needed it. i know i ask a lot of you just by having you there at my lowest; i've been on the other side, and i've not handled it nearly as well as you have when my friends needed me most. you are such a fun, caring person, and i'm so excited we're talking regularly (and tagging together!) again. i know timezones keep us apart, but i'm definitely going to do my best to talk to you as much as possible.

you are the best. happy 2016!! let's watch a movie together sometime.

→ nikki: you know, it's strange, but when i was overseas, one of the first things i thought was that, "hey! i could totally talk to people like nikki more, now that i'm in this totally opposite timezone!" i know it never really happened, and even now, it's been a while since we've talked, but i always see you around on my timeline and it makes me smile. you are such an exciting presence. my cr with you re: leia and athena has been nothing short of incredible and fulfilling, and i hope we can continue it once i've got my groove back. admittedly i've been struggling, but it's a new year, and i want to try again, if i can.

i hope we can become even better friends. thank you so much for just being you and for rooting for my totally self-indulgent cross-canon ship while it lasted ♥

→ olga: did you know that i still haven't forgotten about leia and julius? aaaugh, i'm just . . . so sorry i haven't been able to follow through on it. it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact that i feel like i've lost touch with the canon. maybe i could use some light canon review myself.

that said, this isn't about that. it's about you and all you've done for me, and i want to thank you for being so understanding and consistent, especially when it comes to tags and tagging me back. i really hope we get to talk regularly someday. you are super easy-going, easy to get along with, easy to joke around and have fun with, and i really appreciate that. keep on being you, and have an amazing 2016. i'll definitely be pestering you in the near future.

→ qu: i have to admit, i feel really awful for how scarce i've been with you. i know you've been going through a lot, and i should have offered more words of support, but . . . i was just at such a loss. now is better than never (i hope), and i of course hope things are going to work out for you. i know they will though. i've seen how wonderful and strong and talented you are, and i believe in you and your ability to pull through in this difficult time. i'm going to do my best to reach out to you more this coming year, but if you ever feel like you need it, you know how to reach me. you have our support--mine and all of your friends.

thank you for hanging in there. thank you for having hope! nothing would be the same without you.

see you (and dey) at katsucon . . . (fingers crossed).

→ shannon: the cookie master. the chef queen. i know our schedules have not meshed well, but i still enjoy talking to you just as much as i ever did, please believe me when i say that. you mean so much to me, and at this point i don't think i can explain how much (it doesn't help my brain feels pretty fried right now jkahs). i'll never tire of falling into your canons with you and gushing with you (and vice versa), so i definitely hope for more of that this year amidst everything else. i'm rooting for you, whever your life takes you from here. thanks so much for having me at AWA in 2014, and i'm so sorry i had to miss 2015. i'm determined to make 2016 different, so i hope you're ready!!

let's not forget the cookies (cupcakes?) at your house this time, yeah?

→ sib: ♥ you're sick too, huh? must be that time of year, but hey. that aside, i really wanted to tell you how great i think you are. your art is incredible; i've always thought so, and you probably know. i still have raphael kissing ada saved on my computer. your tags are engaging and fun, and i cannot apologize enough for continuously falling through on our plans. it's not you, i promise; it's me, but it's a new year, and i'm still here, and i'm going to try to make it work. your friendship and presence on my timeline really mean so much to me, and i definitely would love to get to know you more in this year of our lord 2016.

thank you for giving me my first almost-ship in a game. thank you for being so understanding! feel better soon. i'm here for you c:

→ tabris: you know, i still laugh when i think about the way shannon had to drive past you standing at the shady bus station. that was the first time i met you, and i know times were hard for you then, but you pulled through and i am so glad. i'm really happy for you and adam, and even though i had to miss out on seeing you last year, i really can't wait to see you both in 2016. it might be a while before it happens, but it'll be worth it-- at least i know it will be, for me. thank you so much for being my friend, and especially for chatting with me when i was feeling insecure. it may not have been immediate, but it did help, and i'm forever grateful for that. i hope we can talk more in coming year (about fun things!), and i look forward to picking up our threads again, whenever you have the time.

→ ten: it's funny how i randomly start missing the little things, like the way you always used to say "hamm!" i know we haven't talked much in recent months, but i still keep you in my thoughts, and i think a new year is a good time as any to change things up. i've missed talking art with you, showing you my new stuff & wips. one of my resolutions this year is that i hope to start drawing more, so i hope that means we can reconnect again. i'm really happy that things are working out for you and levi also. i'm ecstatic that you finally got to come over on our side of the world, and while i'm sad i didn't get to meet you . . . maybe someday.

thank you so much for being my artspiration. thank you for introducing me to digital devil saga, for all the great times on skype we've had with it (that fake karma terminal never forget). thank you for the awesome memories; like i told levi, too, i hope we can make some more this year.

→ thorny: ah, a judgemental hero to us all. hehe. it's been so long now since that day on plurk when we racked up some 100s of responses about how great 358/2 days is. you've been such an important presence in my life since then, even now, though our chats have been scarce lately. it was so much fun getting to see you at AWA 2014, and just like i've told all the others in our catscatscats family, i'm so sorry i had to miss you last year. you still mean so much to me! i miss the days when we could stay up til fuck hours of the night, gushing about umineko or 999/vlr or hipster persona/megatens, or pretty much whatever the fuck we wanted. i'll always look back on those nights fondly and i hope we can at least get back to talking regularly this year. i know our schedules might be at odds, but i'm definitely going to try.

thank you so much for being an inspiration. your coding, your icons-- your exquisite taste in fandoms that you always seem to drag me into. i hope we get to rp together again one day, but either way: you're fantastic.

by the way, did you know umineko is apparently coming out for steam? i read that somewhere. 2016 is going to be an awesome year!!

-- honestly? that's all i have in me for right now. if you feel left out in any way, please know that it wasn't intentional! and it's not too late. if you comment, i'll definitely give you the love you deserve. thank you so much for understanding.

even if i wasn't able to write anything for you here, i hope you have an amazing year! thank you. ♥ ♥ ♥